What’s holding me back?

I’ve been reading through the Bible this year something that I haven’t done since I was a teen so that’s about... umm never mind it’s been a while. The crazy thing about reading that way is you don’t choose what you read, you read what comes next and that has a profound way of delivering a sometime unsolicited message day after day. 

I’ve been reading through 1 and 2 Kings these last 4 weeks and there is a theme I keep seeing. A lot of  kings did almost everything they needed to but they kept leaving these few high places or strongholds, other spots to worship any deity that may be around basically they wouldn’t fully submit their ego’s. 

Last week I felt like there were dry wells that I was seeking and this seems to be a similar thread, I think I need to hear something and maybe you do to. 

So what stronghold has a hold on you? 

Chances are the answer is staring you in the face I know it’s staring me down right now. 

Just so we’re clear I don’t have your answer but I think you like me know the first answer and saying it out loud will open the way to knowing the second answer... so I’ll go first. 

What high place has leverage over me? 

Shoot...I don’t want to say it now

Okay here goes...

Fear of not being good enough. 

Whew I said it. 

That fear, “the fear of not being good enough” has stopped me from so many things including continuing to write this blog. I’m writing this as if someone is reading it but no one may even see it but I don’t care but I’m sick and tired of “that fear” stopping me from writing because I’m assured of no one reading what I’m to afraid to write. 

I’m sick of “that fear” robbing me of life. 

Next question. 

What does it mean to be fully submitted? 

That’s pretty personal. 

Personal in the way that it’s tailor made for who and where you are at. 

The other personal to I guess. 

For me, today at least, it means I need to stop trying to outsmart my mentors with how much I know and start letting my shortcomings be seen and build up rather then sticking to the areas I’m doing good at and never growing past where I am now. 

That answer came surprisingly fast after saying the first one out loud. 

If you’ve read this far then it’s time to stop reading and start writing. Write down the two questions and answer them for yourself because nothing changes until you do. 

Here they are again what strongholds have hold on you? & What does it mean to be fully submitted?

I’m Jason and this is life as i see it.